Dating girls on the Internet begins with correspondence. Below are real examples of correspondence with a girl that actually arose during the process of dating on the Internet (on dating sites: mamba.ru , tabor.ru , badoo.com , tinder.com , as well as VKontakte ). That's how it was.
Dear reader, please do not be surprised by the simplicity of the phrases contained in the examples offered below, because if you are pursuing the goal of creating a wide circle of women next to you, getting stuck on one is an unreasonable waste of time and effort. Especially when there are a lot of them, there is no point in coming up with fascinating words if complete banality rolls through. I selected the girls, not convinced them or interested them . In addition, all information on the site dedicated to online dating is based on two principles: simplicity and maximum efficiency. Therefore, the simpler the better, which will be discussed in more detail at the end of this article.
- Read all parts of the article, starting from the beginning.
- What to talk about with a girl on the phone.
- What questions can you ask a girl?
You can come up with your own version of the first phrase, as well as subsequent words. And it's even better if you do. Be yourself, not me. But you shouldn’t strain your brain too much, unless, of course, you consciously want to.
At the same time, I would like to draw your attention to the fact that in order to save time and get better results, it is advisable to use one text template for all girls. You don’t write fancy words, trying to become a participant in Shakespearean dialogues, but simply copy and paste the prepared text to a large number of girls (this method is not very suitable for VKontakte ; how to start a VKontakte will be discussed below).
Personally, I do not recommend treating online dating as a way to choose a girl for a serious relationship. Rather, it is the development of quite important male skills of ease of communication with the opposite sex, as well as gaining confidence in one’s abilities. In addition, it is categorically not recommended to become attached to easily accessible girls, it will backfire on you. However, I will add that I am not strongly negative against dating sites, just be wary.
The text of the messages was not subject to correction, so when reading, please do not make any complaints about spelling.
Purpose of correspondence
Before I tell you what to write to a girl you like, I'll ask a question to make sure we're thinking in the same direction.
How do you want her to kiss you the next time you interact? Smiley face or real lips?
Obviously you want the latter. (I hope). Real communication is much more interesting and better than virtual communication.
The real purpose of texting is to meet, not to drag out conversations that go nowhere. Don't lose sight of the end goal.
What to write to a girl on her VKontakte wall?
Have you noticed that over time the content of the VKontakte wall has changed noticeably. Previously, they talked there, drew pictures for each other and had dialogues. Now it has become like a microblog, where people mainly post information about life events and various content that other users like and comment on. Since you can leave posts on someone else's wall, many guys have the desire to write something on it to the girl he likes. But is it worth doing?
When to text a girl
Once you have a girl's phone number, you must write to her within 24 hours. Not later than.
Why?
Because if you wait more than a day, she will decide that she is not interested in you and will switch her attention to other events in her life. And when you show up in a couple of days, she won’t need it anymore.
It wasn’t such a super-exciting acquaintance that you had that she would sit and sigh for several days, thinking about you and abandoning everything. True, if you are Bradley Cooper, you can show up in at least a month, she will be happy. But only in this case.
Modern life is very mobile and hectic, many new events happen during the day, and you will get out of your head. And then she will not want to communicate again with a person who disappears from the radar for a long time.
And it’s very easy to write an SMS. Why not do it while she remembers you and while you both are interested?
How else can you keep the conversation going?
To prolong communication, girls should know what to talk about with a guy so as not to scare him off. There are useful tips from psychologists that you should follow when corresponding with a man:
- Humor in correspondence.
- Positive emotional background.
- No negativity.
- Free communication on various topics.
- Openness, sincerity.
On social media Communication on networks should also be based on sincere conversations. Psychologists recommend finding an approach to each interlocutor, because all men are individual. Focus on his preferences, wishes, interests. Create a favorable atmosphere during correspondence to please your interlocutor.
First message
Your first message should be informative and positive. Identify yourself and remind us who you are:
"Hello Yana. This is Alexander, we met at the exhibition today”;
“Hello Olga, this is Yaroslav. Oksana introduced us yesterday.”
Looking ahead, I’ll say - don’t always respond to a girl’s messages right away. Mix your answers - fast, slow, long-short. This will force her to constantly check her phone and wait for an answer.
And further. Don't suddenly fall silent and wait for a reaction. Maybe earlier, when SMS was paid, and the Internet was only via a wire from a modem, this was an effective way. Nowadays, everyone has a gadget with the Internet at their fingertips around the clock. And the fact that you don’t answer means only one thing for the girl - you don’t want to.
Well, you know, who would want to be the one they remember every few days out of boredom.
Let's start a conversation
When the decision to write has been made, the question arises of where to start communicating. A close study of the potential lover’s VKontakte profile will come to the rescue. Pay attention to the following indicators.
Mutual friends
Carefully study the list of friends of the object of your attention. It may turn out that you have mutual friends or you know each other indirectly through each other’s friends. This can be a good reason to start a conversation. Just don’t gossip about mutual friends under any circumstances!
Place of work or study
It may well be that you found this person’s profile in a community dedicated to your place of work or study. Having common memories and topics is already a great reason to start a conversation.
Similar interests, hobbies
A large number of VKontakte users indicate interests in their profiles. Or you can guess about them simply by looking at the entire content of the young man’s page: videos, music, posts. It is likely that your interests will coincide with yours. This can be a great start for communication.
General groups
It would be useful to study the list of communities in which the prospective chosen one is a member. It is possible that you and he are members of the same or similar groups.
Here are some more useful tips on how to properly communicate with men on the Internet.
What to text with a girl about
Your SMS communication will consist of 2 main things:
- stories, often about yourself;
- questions.
Let's look at each of them in detail. What questions can you ask a girl in correspondence?
Ask questions that will evoke emotions in the girl and, as a result, ATTRACT her. The more emotions she gives you, the more important you become in her life.
This will be indicated by longer answers, a large number of emoticons, and frequent “ahaha” (an indicator of high spirits).
Now let's get back to the questions. Try to integrate them organically into the conversation, rather than dumping an endless stream of them into it. Comment yourself, ask clarifying questions, write your opinion in response.
Avoid creating an interview situation. These are direct questions like:
"what's new?";
“What did you do today?”;
“What is your specialty?”, and so on.
All answers assume that she must report to you for the work done. It's annoying.
“Forbidden” questions also include stupid questions like
“Do you like watching movies?”;
“Do you like it when they give gifts?”
to which the answer is obvious.
As for the “right” questions, the site has a detailed article that is devoted to this: What to talk about with a girl: 54 smart questions (will open in a new tab).
Don’t forget that the girl may also not know what to write to you. In this case, you can just write her easy questions, but a lot. This is when you see that she answers quickly and with pleasure, but she doesn’t know what to ask.
What topics are best to start communicating on VKontakte - how to start communication correctly
If you were answered to your first message and not blacklisted (this is possible in VK), then you are on the right track. Feel free to start communicating. We choose topics to keep the conversation going based on common interests - studies, hobbies, cinema, music, mutual friends, pets, literature, cars, motorcycles, computers (there are girls who can chat about such topics!). Communication on VK should be easy and relaxed.
Watch the girl’s reaction, do not turn online communication into an interrogation. Try to avoid questions that allow you to give a monosyllabic answer - the conversation may end in a dead end. Maintain communication with jokes, anecdotes, and quotes. Your new friend should have a desire to communicate with you again.
What questions can you ask a girl in correspondence?
1. Ask questions about her views, for example:
“What repels/attracts you most in people? What is the quality?"
“What do you think is the biggest disappointment in growing up?”, and so on.
2. If the girl had some event to take place, then ask how it went. Anyone who cares about oneself will really like it.
But, really, instead of another “report”: “What time did you get home from the conference yesterday,” it’s better to ask: “How was the conference?”
3. Find a common interest: TV series, sports, music, games, travel. Ask open-ended questions, those that cannot be answered in monosyllables, then it will be easier for you to find common ground. For example:
“Which countries have you visited? Where did you like the most?”;
“How do you feel about skiing? Riding a bike?
Don't forget to talk about what interests you.
4. Show that you are interested in her opinion. Ask her what she thinks about a new film or some event in your city.
5. Be witty - play, tease. You can use famous quotes as playful questions.
For example, you found out that she is a Game of Thrones fan. Then you can add funny phrases from there:
– if she doesn’t know something: “You don’t know anything, Jon Snow”;
– call her “my lady”;
- if you haven’t been to this establishment before: “Have you never been to North of the Wall?”
Question options
It’s not worth communicating only on abstract topics. If you manage to start communicating with a young man, ask him the right questions. This way you will be able to get to know your interlocutor well, but only on the condition that you listen to him carefully.
If you are incompetent in some areas, offer to talk about something else.
Girls cannot always immediately understand how to speak to their interlocutor and what to communicate with him about.
We offer several guiding questions that will help you get to know a man better:
- Do you believe in the transmigration of souls? Who would you like to become in your next life?
- What do you do in your free time? How do you like to relax?
- What is closer to you - villages or big cities? Would you like to live in an apartment or a private house?
- Which country or city abroad would you like to visit?
- Which religious movement is closer to you?
Don't be intrusive so that he doesn't get bored. When asking questions, listen carefully to what the young man answers. This will help you get to know your chosen one better and decide how suitable he is for you. If your views on life are too contradictory, think about whether you need to continue communicating in a romantic way.
What to write to a girl in messages and about yourself
1. DO NOT write that the day was boring, nothing interesting happened. Even if this is indeed the case, it is not interesting to anyone and is uninformative.
Instead of saying something like, “I'm just bored, so I decided to text you,” say:
“I just returned home from a crazy and stressful day at the office. So happy that I finally have time to relax. How was your day?"
This will make it clear that you are a busy man who works hard and has serious goals in life. This is exactly what women want.
2. Make more jokes; if you don’t know how, watch comedy shows and stand-ups and learn how to do it. Don't forget to use humor even when talking about yourself.
If a girl does not respond to messages, then you will be interested in the analysis in this article Why a girl does not respond to messages: the dark truth (opens in a new window).
3. It is also good if you use the following phrases:
“I was thinking about you”, “You are special to me”, “I am interested in talking to you about everything.”
4. Don't be afraid to appear stupid and make fun of yourself.
“You’ll laugh when you find out how much I messed up now,”
“I have never had such a stupid situation!”
This is both intriguing and positive. The ability to laugh at yourself is a quality of a confident person. And confident men are the sexiest for women.
5. As for your person, girls are interested in looking at photographs of you (not old ones), of what happened to you, or what you photographed right now.
This dilutes communication, making you an interesting and open interlocutor. By sending your photos, you make her a participant in your life. In response, the girl will also begin to behave more freely, feeling a close person in you.
6. If some interesting situation happened to you during the day, you can present it as an intrigue:
“You can’t even imagine what I had to go through today...”
Let her try to figure it out for herself first.
7. Try to remember the details that she tells about her family and colleagues. Then you can draw parallels between your life and hers, remembering this.
8. One of the mistakes guys make is to stop communicating after a meeting date has been set. When you are silent, girls begin to scroll through different scenarios in their heads, doubt their decisions and, in the end, either cancel the meeting or come to it with a negative attitude.
It doesn’t cost anything to write: “Have a nice day! I hope your plans for tonight are still in place?”
Even a short message will make it clear that you are thinking about her and you are not indifferent to her.
Check the attractiveness of your profile
It so happened that today a person’s profile on social networks has become his extended business card, from which you can understand how much he earns, how often he vacations abroad, what kind of car he drives, and what he prefers to have breakfast in the morning.
Therefore, if you want to impress a girl (especially a stranger), you should not post a lot of photos with beer against the backdrop of dubious places. Your profile should be of interest and create the feeling of at least a decent person.
Be sure that if they are truly interested in you, they will look at every section of your profile! So we advise you to keep an eye on the following things...
Photo albums
Keep an eye on the pictures where your friends have tagged you. If you are lying somewhere drunk with your face painted with a felt-tip pen, you can safely delete this mark. When meeting you for the first time, it’s better not to look at this photo.
Among other things, take care of your avatar. Let there be your most successful photo, or better yet, several at once.
Wall
If your VK wall consists mainly of reposts of incomprehensible memes, endless competitions and other unnecessary things, you should clean it up and leave room for something more original.
For example, photographs with audio recordings attached to them, posts in which you write on your own behalf about a particular event, your own statements, experiences, and so on. Your content attracts many more reposts from other people’s public pages.
Personal information
The “information about yourself” column should also be filled out properly, because they will definitely look into it if they want to form an impression about you. Therefore, if the last time you updated this information was in 2008, when you registered in VK, check it again.
Audio, video, subscriptions
If you want to increase your chances of mutual interest, also take a closer look at your audio recordings, videos and public pages that you subscribe to. Make sure that there are not only compositions by Viti AK-47, Guf and other thieves romantics, and that the subscriptions include not only naked asses and groups with not very funny jokes.
Now that the main work on setting up your “appearance” online has been completed, we can move on to the main question: “How to communicate with a girl on VK?”
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Compliments
I highlighted it as a separate point specifically to attract attention. In general, compliments are a rather subtle and deep thing. It may look like a simple phrase, but the girl will rejoice over it.
Try to include them in your speech more often. But not directly, but indirectly, for example:
“You surprised me just now,” “Did you REALLY do that?” “Will you ever show this to me?”, “Damn, you are so (beautiful, kind, attentive...).”
“I like the way you reason. So wise and thoughtful,” “I’ve never seen anyone make friends so easily. You're so sweet and friendly."
They seemed to praise, were surprised, admired, but without all those cloying “You’re smart!”
Maybe,
How to get her to talk?
To start a conversation with a girl, it is necessary that, first of all, she is interested in herself .
To do this, you may have to study her profile well, find out her interests, favorite films and music, and preferences in literature.
You can look through the profiles of her friends to get an idea of her social circle .
Having made an acquaintance, it is better to start by discussing exactly those topics that are close to her.
People tend to readily communicate on topics that are familiar to them, but receiving completely new information from a stranger may seem too costly and not worth attention.
How to end a conversation?
It is important to properly end a conversation on a social network in such a way as to prepare the girl for the fact that you will write to her again. It also shouldn't be intrusive.
For example, you can ask whether she often allows herself free time for such correspondence. If so, directly say that you would be happy to talk again . If not, note that today luck smiled at you and you would not mind seeing her smile a second time.
You can also limit yourself to a banal, but at the same time unambiguous phrase: “It was a pleasure to talk with you. See you in touch, if anything happens.”
It is also mandatory, if you want to extend your acquaintance , to express pleasant emotions at the end of your communication.
Say that it was a pleasure for you to communicate , spend time talking with her, give a compliment that she is a pleasant conversationalist.
Don’t wait until you run out of topics to talk about and there’s an awkward pause in the conversation ; if you suddenly feel like you don’t know what to talk about next, it’s better to refer to urgent matters and end the conversation on a pleasant note.
