How to find friends in life, games and social networks (advice from a psychologist)

How to find friends in life - 7 tips

There is no plan that is guaranteed to make a friend for life. There are only certain recommendations, which, if you learn them, will significantly increase your chances of success:

Don't make the desire to find friends an obsession. Better focus on your hobby and friends will appear on their own.
Do not try to be friends only with popular and successful people, as there is a high probability of being rejected.
Develop communication skills. First of all, the ability to listen, resolve conflicts, see one’s own and others’ boundaries, the ability to empathize, as well as emotional intelligence.
Pay attention to people with similar interests, values and views.
When communicating with friends, behave naturally. Trying to please, adapt to them, and pretend to be someone else will lead to aggression and ridicule. It is better to have one person who will appreciate your true nature than ten who prefer to communicate with a fictitious personality. Maximum comfort and minimum negativity - this is the law of harmonious friendship.
Don't judge new people by rumors. They can be spread by envious people.
Keep in touch with your friends so that they don’t forget about you or be offended by your long absence.

What psychologists say about friendship

Friendship is a dynamic phenomenon. Due to life circumstances, people can diverge, change values and habits. True friendship is a powerful resource that helps both participants grow and develop. If for some reason she begins to bring suffering, it is better to stop communicating.

It’s not enough just to find friends and comrades with similar interests. It is important to constantly find new points of contact with them. When one develops and the other stands still, a split occurs. If a friend decides to leave the relationship, you should respect their choice.

The likelihood of finding new friends is high if a person moves within a community:

classmates;
colleagues;
visitors to seminars and interest groups;
neighbors.

The main thing in friendship is a common cause. When choosing friends, you should definitely rely on common interests and values. You can check whether spiritual intimacy exists during the conversation. A person opens up well in conversations on the topic:

politicians;
sports;
travel;
nutrition;
healthy lifestyle;
hobbies (music, theater);
moral and spiritual interests;
religion;
charity.

People who have a positive outlook on life should be considered as comrades. Pessimists and cynics are not inclined to create deep friendships.

Communication skills also play an important role in establishing productive contact.

How to behave to establish dialogue - 5 recommendations

Be interested in other people and answer counter questions frankly.
Express your opinion honestly. This will help the partner identify common ground.
Try to speak to the essence of the issue. Do not tell more than the other person is interested in. An overabundance of information about one’s own person can play a cruel joke.
Speak on positive topics that do not affect moral and religious feelings. For the first conversation, it is appropriate to discuss interests, hobbies, and travel.
Express approval if something said resonates with you. It is quite appropriate to compliment a person about his level of education, breadth of outlook, or knowledge of any issue. The main thing is to know when to stop so as not to create the impression of an insincere person.

Read more: 6 mistakes that hinder friendship

To find new friends, you need to constantly expand your circle of acquaintances. When attending parties, don't limit yourself to just your own group. Don't be afraid to come across as a clingy weirdo. The ability to conduct a relaxed dialogue within boundaries will help you leave a good impression.

It is important to be genuinely interested in communicating with the other person. If there is a feeling of mutual interest, you can invite a friend to attend an event, go to a sports match, or go to lunch.

Strong connections are formed between people who see each other frequently. When meeting, you should show friendliness, responsiveness, offer help, or even invite you for tea. Such a positive attitude almost always finds a reciprocal response.

It is important to be able to maintain friendly and friendly connections. To do this, you should show interest in other people:

write on social networks;
call;
congratulate on significant dates;
be ready to provide support.

In the quest for rapprochement, you need to know when to stop. Remember to be polite and respect the other person's personal space. Friendship does not mean the absence of boundaries. If a friend does not want to share any information, that is his right.

You should not leave a relationship after a conflict. Friendship is a valuable resource that should be protected. Perhaps the cause of the quarrel is not so critical as to lose a friend.

How to maintain friendship?

When you find your virtual friend, you will have to try hard not to miss the thread of communication. Don't stop communicating if you don't agree or on other trifles. Don't push your friend away if he makes contact. If now is not the time to talk, tell him so, but don't ignore his messages.

Make jokes, send each other notes and photos, this will help maintain communication if you have nothing going on and nothing to tell, perhaps in this way you will find a new topic for communication.

Don’t be shy to write to your friend first, there’s nothing wrong with that, because he’s your friend. Show interest in him, ask how he is doing. Call sometimes using Skype or instant messengers, a real voice will significantly reduce the distance between you. It's always nice to hear a friend's voice.

Try to surprise your friend. For example, write a letter, send a small parcel or order delivery to his home, perhaps flowers or a toy, a cake or any other little thing. Despite the fact that you did not present this gift, you chose it, this is very nice.

Yes, write letters. Picking up a letter that a friend has carefully written out is very touching. Don't forget about important dates, birthdays or days of acquaintance. Memory and a small, albeit virtual, postcard are very nice. Talk to your friend if he feels bad or sad. It's a pity that you can't come to him, but try to console him with words or call him, it will help.

We are sure that you will find our advice useful on how to find friends on the Internet, how to behave and how to maintain communication with them. Despite the fact that virtual friendship implies a long distance between you, if you really want to, then one day you can meet.

Friendship on social networks: myth or reality

If 30 years ago young people gathered in the yard, and residents of neighboring houses visited each other, now communication has moved to a virtual environment.

The need to share details of one's life remains, but the means to achieve it have changed. By posting any content on social networks, a person fulfills the need for acceptance, approval and belonging to some group.

Likes and comments are analogues of group interaction in the virtual plane. Friendship and close interaction in reality presupposes not only the presence of common interests, but also equality. Virtual “friends” may differ in income level, culture, and education. They don't pass the test of loyalty like real ones.

The more they write approving comments and likes, the faster a feeling of community and closeness arises. The figure of the person on the other side of the monitor is perceived positively. The quick “high” from the illusion of acceptance makes you plunge headlong into the virtual world.

Having a large number of virtual “friends” significantly expands the circle of communication. A person gets the opportunity to effortlessly increase self-esteem and present the desired image of his “I” instead of the real one.

Research has shown that users who strive to increase the number of virtual friends do not strive for friendship in reality.

How to find friends on social networks VK and Odnoklassniki - 8 rules

Finding friends in the virtual space is not an easy task. However, for people who are shy, this is an ideal way to make new acquaintances.

Rules for finding friends on social networks:

Form a community. You can expand your circle of contacts by creating an interest group. After some time, the number of acquaintances with similar interests will increase significantly
Write posts about your life. About work, achievements, interests, travel, interesting events.
Look for acquaintances on your own. You can find new people through groups and comments. Feel free to enter into dialogues.
Add real acquaintances as friends. New people appear in the process of attending seminars, trainings and business events. Friendly relationships can arise on the basis of common interests.
Introduce people to each other. Recommend your friends to each other as good specialists. On social networks, the “six handshakes theory” works flawlessly.
Be interested in the lives of virtual friends. People enjoy it when someone asks about their interests and hobbies. This approach increases the chances of establishing warm, friendly relationships. It would be a good idea to write some brief information about yourself.
Translate communication into reality. With friends who have common interests, you can organize thematic meetings in cafes, field trips, and organize some events.
Be open to communication. Some people write in groups asking for help or favors. Providing support couldn't be easier. In return, you can get a friend for life.

Read further: 22 tips on how to make friends and become a magnet for others

Service for making friends Olike

Olike is a great tool for creating a large base of friends. To work with it you need to know a few tricks:

To get started, you need to go to olike.ru.
Log in through your VK profile.
In the special form, indicate a working e-mail. Check the boxes regarding the processing of personal data. Click the “Agree” button.
Click on the “Add friends for free” button.
In the window that opens, a link to the user’s page will be given; you need to go to it and add the user as a friend.
Repeat steps 4-5 as many times as necessary.

In addition, the service allows you to order paid promotion of friends. To do this you need:

Top up your account in a convenient way.
Enter the “Order for VKontakte” section and select “Friends”.
In a special form, note the order completion time, its cost and a link to your page.
Click on the button “I agree with the rules. Order".

We recommend: Hide photos on VK from other users

Finding friends in another city - 9 ways

Moving allows you to start life with a clean slate. Don’t be upset if you haven’t found any friends yet in your new place of residence. There are many places where you can meet people with a similar value system:

Job. The easiest way is to invite your newly-made colleagues to visit, to a party or for a walk. In an informal setting, people reveal themselves differently than in work.
Activity. Announcements of events are published on the Internet and on posters. You can choose what you like: flash mob, marathon, student gatherings, friendly gatherings.
Social media. You can write a post asking to show the city, talk about interesting places, or invite someone for a bike ride.
Gym. The ideal way to find a friend with similar interests is to spend time together. Many people go for morning jogs, play football or lift weights. We recommend starting a conversation by asking for advice on an issue of interest. People who are considered experts respond happily. During the dialogue, you can ask for a contact for communication.
Hobby. You should analyze your inclinations and talents. Perhaps it’s high time to realize an old dream: enroll in a foreign language course or learn to draw. Courses are a great place to make new friends. People come there united by the common goal of gaining knowledge.
Attending educational events. Advanced training allows you not only to improve yourself in any field of activity, but also to find friends, expand your circle of business contacts, and make useful contacts.
Attending psychological trainings and groups. Moving is a lot of stress. During it, a person experiences a feeling of loneliness, self-doubt, and loses support. During the trainings, people develop their internal resources, learn to interact effectively with each other, and receive support and love from other group members.
Virtual communities. If you don’t have the opportunity to meet in real life, you can use a virtual travel service. On the Internet it is easier to find people with similar interests. And from virtual life it is not difficult to move into reality.
Trips. Finding people to travel with is a great way to bond. Many people look for company because they are afraid to travel alone.

“Don’t have a hundred rubles, but have a hundred friends”

Real true friends, what they are like

How to determine if your friend is real? Perhaps this is just an acquaintance or friend with whom you sometimes like to spend your leisure time? Think about whether you can trust him with your secrets, can you ask for help in a critical situation, are you ready to sacrifice your comfort or money to help this person? If you answer yes to all these questions, then most likely you really have strong friendships in your life.

It is important to note that true friends will not demand sacrifices from you and manipulate you - they do not at all believe that you owe them anything. Of course, they will be grateful to you for your help, but if you cannot help, then, of course, they will not curse you. By the way, this factor is an indicator for you personally. If a person turned to you for help, and you came up with a reason why you don’t want to help him, and you yourself understand this perfectly well, then perhaps your friendship is one-sided or there is none at all.

Pros and cons of friendship

pros

Help: support in difficult emotional and moral situations. If your loved one has left you, your girlfriend or friend is usually ready to console you. With them you can escape from your worries by visiting interesting places in their company and just talking out things. In a difficult financial situation, friends, if possible, are also ready to help you, borrow money or simply support you free of charge.

Leisure: If you have a girlfriend or boyfriend, it is always easier to diversify your leisure time. You can go together to a cafe, to a party, to a club, to a cinema, walk along the alleys, jog in the park, or just sit at home with a cup of tea.

Advice: We all need advice from time to time, and the more close people there are, the greater the chances of getting the necessary information. This can relate to many aspects: which store is currently offering promotions, whether a new hair color will suit you, how to get to a particular area, where it is better to get your phone repaired. Of course, all this information, if desired, can be found on the Internet, but friends often help out much better.

Minuses

Certain obligations: many people are not eager to acquire additional friendships, realizing that this imposes certain kinds of obligations. If a person leads a quiet and secluded lifestyle, one or two friends are enough for him. A large number of friends means a lot of meetings, phone calls, joint celebrations of holidays, giving gifts for birthdays and important dates. For some, all this comes easily and joyfully, but for some people it is a burden.

Of course, other problems may arise - rivalry, envy and the like. In this case, the friendship is probably heading towards its decline.

Looking for friends in computer games

To find gamer friends, follow these rules:

Consider netiquette.
Monitor your profile.
Fill out your profile with concise information about the case. You can describe your personal qualities and interests in it.
Follow the rules of the Russian language.
Use emoticons, but don't overdo it.
Try to keep your messages as one complete thought.
Avoid banal language.
Remember that vulgarity is taboo!
Behave correctly, even if the other person has a different opinion.

Read more: How others influence a person

By the way a person communicates while playing in a chat, one gets the impression of the degree of his adequacy. People are drawn to friendly and positive partners. Do not spoil your image even in the virtual space.

How else to find friends in games? For example, look for gamer communities on social networks. In them, people discuss characters, game strategies, look for friends with similar interests, partners for completing levels together.

There are also plenty of apps for finding gaming friends. One of the most popular is PLINK. In your profile, you must indicate your gaming preferences and the system will provide a list of potential partners for the game.

GAMETREE is another mobile application for finding friends in games. It features a user-friendly interface and an expanded set of filters. You can even select partners based on psychological type.

Where to find friends

In large cities, dating parties are organized for people of different age categories.

Thematic meetings, associations of interests, courses, studios, performances - all this allows you to meet a large number of new faces. Perhaps no friendly communication will be established, but a company will appear to visit interesting places.

Apartment dwellings are very popular for finding friends. These are mini-parties where complete strangers meet, listen to music and chat. In one evening you can make 20-30 new acquaintances.

The fastest and most effective way to friendship and friendship is hobbies. Joint activities allow you to improve your skills, get a lot of positive emotions from communication, and make long-forgotten desires come true.

There are websites where you can register and chat with people from anywhere in the world. Their main, but only goal is language practice.

Chatting with foreigners is a great way to make friends.

Popular resources for communication:

Pen4Pals;
Livemocha;
Learning Russian with Russians (Facebook);
Abroad Pal;
Shared Talk;
Learning Russian with Russians (Google).

There are entire social networks for language practice and finding new friends. Lang-8.com is the largest of them. It brings together users from 190 countries. One person writes a text in a foreign language, the other (counterpart) checks the grammar, corrects errors and gives recommendations. Social networks of this type allow you to improve your language skills and make new contacts.

The problem of finding a company is relevant not only for young people. Pensioners also suffer from loneliness. Elderly people can also make new acquaintances through the social network “Country of Pensioners” or groups for communication of elderly people on VKontakte.

Another way for retirees to find friends is through club centers. In them, people attend hobby groups, gather for tea and spend leisure time together.

Reassessing your own views on friendship

People with certain psychological characteristics have difficulty finding new friends. This is usually due to complexes, high expectations, inability to accept someone else’s point of view, etc. Fortunately, many of these problems are easily eliminated or minimized to an optimal level.

So, the first thing you need to do is love yourself . It sounds banal, but this is precisely an important point that will allow a person to better reveal himself as an interesting personality.

Confident people attract the attention of others. At the same time, appearance and manner of communication do not matter. You can say completely banal things, but do it with such confidence that it unconsciously forces others to maintain the topic of conversation.

It is important to be able to listen carefully . Some silent people strangely become popular among the same work colleagues. This is because they will listen to anyone with an understanding look and will not interrupt by inserting their comments.

Humor is the key to success in communication. Learning to joke is not that difficult. Usually this can be easily done intuitively, focusing on the current topic of conversation and the temperament of the interlocutors. Don't be afraid to joke. Even if it doesn't make you smile or the joke is considered stupid, it will be a lesson for the future.

The interests and desires of others should be taken into account. There is no need to impose yourself when a person clearly does not want to communicate. It is quite possible that your friend is in a bad mood, and attempts to get him to talk will only cause hostility.