Today, more and more dating with girls is moving from real life to the Internet. More specifically, in VK. However, when it comes to communication, many guys have absolutely no idea how to properly communicate with a girl and what to talk to her about . Actually, I already wrote an article about how to meet people on VK. But direct acquaintance and further communication are different. When you meet someone, you simply use a few templates and quickly take a number. It is not always possible to meet in real life right away, or the girl does not want to leave her number yet. This is where internet communication skills come in handy.
Once upon a time, in the first years of the founding of the VKontakte website, meeting girls on this social network was much easier. People were just registering and were not yet completely comfortable with their relationship to these sites. Yes, and they approached the ladies quite rarely.
But, nevertheless, even today, with the right approach, you can meet and communicate with girls on VK. Below you will find several rules of communication, as well as specific examples.
Basic rules of communication in VK
VKontakte is the largest social network. There is nothing strange in the fact that men are interested in what to talk about with a girl on this resource. It has a lot of advantages and advantages that will make the dating process easier.
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Before you begin the dialogue, you need to prepare. First you need to design the page. You can start a conversation with a girl on VKontakte if you have a full-fledged account. The page must contain:
- Avatar - main photo. She must be stylish. It's better to stop using editors. Show yourself in all your glory.
- Short description. You need to approach filling out information about yourself responsibly. It is worth removing information that will scare the girl away. You cannot brag about your constant alcoholic adventures or tobacco addiction. This does not attract representatives of the opposite sex.
- Erase incriminating information from the wall.
The user’s page creates the first impression of the interlocutor, so it should look presentable.
It will also not be superfluous to analyze the chosen one’s page. You can understand what a girl likes and what topics you should talk to her about. If, for example, your beloved subscribes to a public page with poems, then poetry will become a topic to start a conversation. The guy can ask what writers his new friend likes. In the future, the conversation will go like clockwork.
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It is important not to start communication with something you don’t understand. Girls react negatively to lies at the beginning of a dialogue.
It is worth remembering the list of rules on how to communicate with a beautiful girl on VK:
- You cannot use template and banal phrases. Questions “How are you?” or “What are you doing?” are sent to the blacklist. It is impossible to interest your interlocutor with this approach. Refinement and tact are qualities that are valued in society.
- You need to make a list of topics for conversation. They should be written down on a piece of paper or kept in mind. This will help avoid awkward silences and hesitations.
- A guy shouldn't immediately talk about himself. This will destroy the aura of mystery. It's better to save some stories for conversations on the first date. It will happen if you know what to talk about with the girl.
- Avoid intrusiveness. There is a fine line between intrusiveness and persistence. Women love confident men who are able to achieve their goals. However, constantly writing and begging for an answer is a losing strategy. Everyone is in a bad mood. You need to feel it and end the conversation in time by writing: “We’ll talk tomorrow.” The girl will understand that her partner is understanding and caring.
- Originality in actions and words. It is worth writing non-trivial messages. They write to beautiful girls regularly. They are tired of the sameness. Tackles at the “You’re a bomb” level no longer work. A man should remain himself, but be interesting and unique. A twist will help him stand out in the queue of fans.
- Don't ask too many questions. A conversation is not an interrogation, so it needs to be conducted at a calm pace. The girl herself will want to talk about life if the dialogue develops correctly.
- Logout from the network. You can't sit on the phone all day long. The interlocutor will get the impression that in front of her is a guy with a complex and who does not go out in public. Such suitors are not sought after by beauties. It is worth periodically taking a break from social portals and doing what you love. Women love energetic men who have hobbies.
- A joke will brighten up the conversation. A sense of humor helps to win other people's hearts. A guy can safely use joke generators while talking on the Internet. There are pictures, gifs and jokes online. With the right dosage, “memes” will brighten up the most dull conversation.
Communication with a girl on VK should be relaxed and pleasant. You cannot force messages out. The interlocutor should feel that it is pleasant to conduct a dialogue with her.
The conversation should be interrupted. You get tired from a long conversation. It’s better to stock up on a number of topics for live communication.
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What interests girls
There are many topics you can talk about with an interesting girl on VK. Every lady has a list of hobbies. They are worth finding out by studying the page of your interlocutor on a social network. A number of categories of women's interests can be distinguished:
- Every self-respecting woman takes care of her appearance. Girls want to look attractive and irresistible, so it’s worth using their beauty. Give compliments to make your interlocutor feel good. Young ladies like it when their efforts are appreciated. When meeting in person, you must definitely say that your companion is irresistible.
- A healthy lifestyle is popular among young people. The state is showing the beauty of sports through the media. It is not surprising that many women go to gyms or play sports professionally. Long gone are the days when girls did not understand football or hockey. Now you can talk about sports with your beloved. It’s a good idea to show off your knowledge in a certain area to show your erudition. Girls love with their ears, so they enjoy talking with people who know how to beautifully express their own thoughts.
- Ladies are sensual and passionate. They are attracted to art. Many people begin to create their own works. Drawing, poetry, prose - every second representative of the fairer sex does this, so you can talk about such topics with a girl on VKontakte.
It’s easy to start a conversation with a girl on VK, but it’s important to learn how to maintain it for a long time.
How to please a girl
Of course, a girl will not respond to a stranger’s virtual letter if she doesn’t like him. To prevent this from happening, try to evoke sympathy right away, with the first message. To do this, it is advisable to follow the following rules of communication via correspondence:
- When meeting a girl on VKontakte, you need to write correctly.
Repeat the list of spelling and punctuation rules at least from the school course. By the way you write, people judge your education and level of erudition.
- Study the interests of your interlocutor.
If you write that you saw a post about stray dogs in her feed that was published a couple of months ago, she will understand that she really interested you as a person.
- Don't be pushy.
If she's in a bad mood, laugh it off, send her a nice card, and resume the conversation the next day.
- Don't devote all your free time to communicating with this girl.
Even the most interesting interlocutor can become boring if you communicate too often. Give me the opportunity to miss you.
- Be careful.
Catch changes in the girl’s mood, ask how she feels if she’s sick, ask how her day went.
- Constantly develop, learn new things.
After meeting a new book, movie, famous person, share your impressions and emotions with the girl. She must understand that you live an active life.
Examples of starting a conversation on a social network
Let's look at examples of what you can talk about with a girl on VK. First of all, you should cast the fishing rod correctly: “Hello. I saw your page in the poetry group. Got my attention. It is immediately obvious that she is smart and beautiful - in one bottle. I wanted to talk to you and get to know you better. Especially interesting, who are your favorite writers? I myself am interested in the works of Pushkin and Yesenin. A banal choice, but not Brodsky (although he is also good).”
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Such a message will immediately attract women's attention. She will definitely read it. However, you should not repeat it word for word. Not all girls are interested in poems. You need to understand the basic rule - you can captivate a beauty with the help of a topic that is close to her.
It is worth studying some correspondence with girls on VK. Example of unsuccessful communication:
- P.: Hello. How are you?
- D.: Hello. Fine.
- P.: I see.
The dialogue is wrong. First of all, a banal start. Many young ladies leave such messages unanswered, especially if they are popular with the opposite sex. Secondly, the guy immediately stopped writing. He did not try to take the conversation in a different direction, to get to know his interlocutor better. You can't expect a woman to make the first move. You need to be persistent, but not overuse it. Perhaps today the interlocutor had a tragedy and has no desire to communicate with strangers.
Here are examples of how to correspond with a girl correctly. Example 1:
- P.: Hello. I see that everything is wonderful in life.
- D.: Why did you decide that?
- P: A beauty with such a beautiful smile cannot have any difficulties. All doors are open for her.
- D: Good to hear. But everyone has problems.
- P.: I hope that everything is fine in life anyway. The weather is beautiful outside. The sun melted the snow. The cold is receding. No one says the phrase: “Winter is coming.” She left for a long time. The rains will end soon and you can swim in the warmth.
- D.: I see that your interlocutor is a real romantic.
- P: Of course. I learned from articles about how to properly communicate with a girl online.
- D.: Funny. Everything is really good with a sense of humor.
The guy caught the attention of his interlocutor with his complimentary eyeliner. Such “hooks” should be used regularly during a conversation. They draw you into a romantic web and put you in the right mood. This is a good example of how to communicate with a girl on VK and make her like you.
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There are other examples of how to start a conversation with a girl on social networks. Example 2:
- P.: Good afternoon.
- D.: It’s not a fact that he is so kind.
- P: I wonder why? I always thought that beautiful people have much fewer problems. I don’t experience any difficulties in life at all.
- D.: There are no problems with a sense of self-importance. I approve. And it’s difficult because it’s Monday. Hard day.
- P.: Are everyday working hours stressful? I try to enjoy everyday days. I only pay attention to the positive aspects. Life is much more pleasant, especially if the salary at work is good.
The guy uses several “hooks” at once in a conversation. He is interested in the life of a new acquaintance and talks about himself, at the same time making her curious, thereby fueling her interest in communication.
How to interest
Online dating is the most popular way to expand your circle of friends, and maybe even find your soulmate. But communication will not start by itself, so guys need to think in advance what to write to a girl when meeting on VKontakte in order to interest her.
The first messages must meet the following requirements:
- Be sure to start with a greeting.
Greet an unfamiliar girl politely, taking into account her age. Use the words “Hello! Hello! Hi!”
Phrases “Good evening (morning, afternoon)!” are appropriate if the interlocutor reads the message immediately, but you should not write “Good day.”
- Next, it would be right to compliment the girl.
Do not write that she is a beauty or a queen in the photo - such messages repel girls. Use pleasant words frankly, unobtrusively: “You look great! You have gorgeous hair! Your eyes enchanted me!...”
- Be sure to introduce yourself and state the purpose of the message.
There is no need to give out your entire biography in the first letter, just state your name, age, occupation and honestly admit that you want to meet.
- The next point is a topic for communication.
It should be interesting to both. The girls can be invited to discuss a new film, track, country to travel, dreams and plans for the future.
Best topics to talk about
You need to communicate with a girl on VK in such a way that she is interested. It is necessary to capture her attention, make her talk without tension and excitement:
- The ideal option for what to talk about with a beautiful girl on VKontakte would be hobbies and interests. You can recognize them unobtrusively by studying the page of your interlocutor.
- Music, cinema and literature are worth discussing. Often women indicate their favorite works on the page. These are the things you can talk about with the girl you like on VK. Similar dialogues continue for hours. The layer of contemporary art cannot be discussed in a couple of days. If you have a good tongue, then you can talk about creativity all day long.
- A guy must be interested in a woman's life. This is done carefully, as in a hunt, where the main rule is not to spook.
- Girls are interested in photography. Invite her to a photo shoot - the perfect setting for a first date.
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You can also communicate with a girl on neutral topics:
- World News. A lot of events happen around a person. It is enough to talk about something interesting and ask for an opinion on the issue. A convenient way to find what to talk about with a smart girl on VK.
- Food. Instagram is filled with product photos. According to statistics, every third girl posts them, so we can safely condemn taste preferences. The information will help you choose a restaurant for your first meeting offline.
- Friends and relatives. This is a slippery topic and should be raised carefully. Some people have problems on the personal front. It’s better to casually talk about your friends and see their reaction.
- Pets. Girls love cats and dogs. Many people start them at home. Animals are a good option for a long conversation. If you have a pet, you need to find out about its life. The young lady will happily talk about the difficulties of “upbringing”.
- Sport. A healthy lifestyle is the main trend of the 21st century. Representatives of the fair sex are especially fond of sports. Give your friend the opportunity to speak out about the difficulties of being active. Women like to be listened to and pitied.
- Adventures. You can always discuss distant countries and travel. Young people don't know how to sit still. It is not surprising that many people talk to a girl on VK about desires and dreams.
Possible mistakes
A man who dreams of winning a girl on the Internet should know what not to talk about with the person he likes on VK, so as not to scare her away. Examples:
- It is better not to mention former lovers. When communication becomes more confidential, then the guy can share his experience.
- Do not start a topic about your health status. An unfamiliar girl does not need to know about all the chronic diseases of her future partner. Otherwise she will find him too problematic.
- Do not mention men's hobbies: football, hockey, hunting, fishing, cars. But if a girl is interested in cars or has a favorite football team, then a man can safely discuss common passions with her.
- Complaints are not welcome. The man shows that he is unable to cope with his problems, and women want to see a strong, confident man next to them. Therefore, putting pressure on pity is futile.
- Talk less about sex and try not to joke about it. Otherwise, the girl will think that the guy just wants to drag her into bed, and he doesn’t need a serious relationship.
If a man avoids controversial topics, then a woman will be more happy to communicate with him through a social network. Correspondence will probably lead to the next stage of the relationship.
What topics should you not talk about with a girl?
With the right approach, the guy is able to talk about anything. However, there are a number of topics that you cannot talk about with a friend on VK at the beginning of communication.
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You can’t immediately become interested in your personal life. It's tactless. Some experience a difficult breakup, others cannot socialize normally. Aggressive questioning can push people away.
Also, you should not immediately discuss issues of intimacy. Such an invasion of personal space looks tactless and immoral. The girl will decide that this is a preoccupied pervert with whom she should not continue communicating.
In the first days of communication, you cannot argue. Ladies can't stand conflicts. This causes stress, that is, negative impressions. A beautiful lady will not want to build a relationship with someone who disagrees with her point of view.
Features of virtual communication
For communication to lead to your goal, decide what exactly you want. This could be a simple desire to chat online or an acquaintance that develops into a romance. The way you communicate depends on your intentions. And examples of dialogues and successful phrases will help you interest a new acquaintance. To please a young lady, consider the following tips:
- Be positive. Humor is appropriate in communication, but do not try to make fun of your interlocutor in any way. Use emoticons, but not too many. It is better not to talk about serious and sad topics.
- Watch your literacy. The girl will like it if there are no mistakes in the messages. If you doubt yourself, check it using online services before sending a message.
- Communicate politely. Be sure to say hello, do not use swear words in conversation. Forget about harsh language. The lady will be pleased if you start calling her by name more often.
- Be mysterious. If you understand that your interlocutor is interested in you, try to disappear from her sight for a few days. Leave the intrigue by interrupting the conversation at the most interesting moment.
- Surprise. If at the beginning of communication you showed yourself as a brutal man, later demonstrate the romantic side of your character. For example, send love poems.
- Show interest. Ask what your interlocutor’s hobbies are, ask her to tell her what her plans are, what she dreams about. This way you will be able to win the girl over.
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Where to invite a girl on a first date to win her heart
If you want your acquaintance to quickly develop into live communication, transfer the conversation to instant messengers. Wish her good morning, give her compliments and keep in touch.
Do not insist if your chosen one is against communication outside the social network. This means that the time for this has not yet come.
How to move from online communication to a real date
You won’t be satisfied with dialogues on social networks alone. I want more, real conversations by candlelight. Don't delay your first date. If you communicate on a social network for too long, the girl will decide that she is not interesting. Therefore, it is worth making do with friendship alone.
You need to invite them to a meeting directly. Say that you would be glad to see each other and spend time together. If you like your new friend, then there will be no refusal.
Communicating in life is more difficult. Be confident and stately. Show off your best sides. The girl should feel that in front of her is the same person with whom she had been communicating for a long time.
The ideal place for a date would be a restaurant. You can show off your knowledge about the life of your interlocutor. For example, make an order for her. She will be surprised how you know her so well. All thanks to information obtained from conversations on social networks.
You can’t ask to continue the evening in an intimate setting. One such action cancels out all previous efforts.
After the cafe, it’s worth taking a walk around the evening city, discussing face to face all that is left unsaid. Night time will create the necessary atmosphere, and the meeting will be unforgettable.
First message
Your first message should be informative and positive. Identify yourself and remind us who you are:
"Hello Yana. This is Alexander, we met at the exhibition today”;
“Hello Olga, this is Yaroslav. Oksana introduced us yesterday.”
Looking ahead, I’ll say - don’t always respond to a girl’s messages right away. Mix your answers - fast, slow, long-short. This will force her to constantly check her phone and wait for an answer.
And further. Don't suddenly fall silent and wait for a reaction. Maybe earlier, when SMS was paid, and the Internet was only via a wire from a modem, this was an effective way. Nowadays, everyone has a gadget with the Internet at their fingertips around the clock. And the fact that you don’t answer means only one thing for the girl - you don’t want to.
Well, you know, who would want to be the one they remember every few days out of boredom.
Advice from psychologists
Psychologists advise keeping communication as casual as possible. Often people on the Internet create an image that does not correspond to reality. Because of this, after a date, communication stops. A person must remain himself. You cannot try on other people's masks. You need to conquer a girl with your own qualities, and not someone else’s.
READ What is a pickup truck and how does it manifest itself in relationships?
Communication with a friend on VKontakte can last a long time. It is important to learn how to talk with any interlocutor. There is no universal formula for success. Only by getting to know different girls can you understand what to talk to them about.
If you are antisocial and don’t know how to communicate, then it’s time to loosen up. Start with dialogues with family and friends. You will soon become a skilled conversationalist.
Conversations on social networks can liberate a person and make him brighter. It’s easy to figure out what to talk about with a girl in contact. You can have a conversation about anything.
Compliments
I highlighted it as a separate point specifically to attract attention. In general, compliments are a rather subtle and deep thing. It may look like a simple phrase, but the girl will rejoice over it.
Try to include them in your speech more often. But not directly, but indirectly, for example:
“You surprised me just now,” “Did you REALLY do that?” “Will you ever show this to me?”, “Damn, you are so (beautiful, kind, attentive...).”
“I like the way you reason. So wise and thoughtful,” “I’ve never seen anyone make friends so easily. You're so sweet and friendly."
They seemed to praise, were surprised, admired, but without all those cloying “You’re smart!”
Maybe,