It’s easier to talk to a girl you like on the Internet than in real life. In a couple of clicks you can find out everything about her: where she works or studies, what her hobbies are, what films she watches and what music she listens to. But what should you write to her in the first message in contact so that the girl will pay attention and want to continue the conversation? In our article we will talk about what must be in the first message and what should not be there, and at the end of the article you will find several examples of successful online dating...
Preparing for dating: a few important rules
Before starting a correspondence you need to:
- Tidy up your page. We choose a good avatar, fill out the “About Me” section, publish beautiful photos, etc.
- Choose a girl. We choose a girl from our city, weed out fake accounts, find common interests, possible topics for conversation.
About how to properly prepare your page on social media. networks to meet and choose the right girl, we described in detail in step-by-step instructions for meeting girls on VKontakte. Be sure to read this article before you start writing your first message.
What should be the first message to a girl: 3 main questions
The first message should be brief, but should directly or indirectly answer the 3 main questions that will definitely arise in the head of any girl after she reads your “Hello”.
These are the questions:
- Who are you: what is your name, how did you find her online;
- Purpose of meeting: to communicate, have fun, go on a date;
- The reason why you chose her: what you have in common, what you liked about her.
The order of these points may vary depending on the situation.
The main task of the first message is to interest the girl, make her pay her attention to you. To do this, you don’t need to write a whole sheet of text or come up with complex greetings. 1-2 correctly selected simple sentences are enough.
Don't forget to say hello and introduce yourself by the name your friends call you. Avoid overly familiar forms (“Sanyok”, etc.). Yes, your name is already on the page, but the introduction is a simple form of dating etiquette.
Don’t know what excuse to come up with for communication? The desire to communicate is already an excellent excuse for the first message. Do not intimidate a girl by talking about your desire to start a family and have children, even if you are really looking for a future spouse.
Carefully look through her page - pay attention to books, music, films and public pages. How is a girl different from others? What is she proud of? What unites you?
Write that you saw on her page a photo from a recent concert of your favorite band or that you noticed a selection of Nolan’s works in her videos. Show her that she is not just another girl to whom you “copy-paste” prepared text, but that she is special. She will at least become interested in what kind of person you are if you point out your common interests, and she will want to continue communication.
Before you write your first message
Firstly, if you want to meet people on the Internet, then you must have a great profile, filled out correctly and with good photos . Because the girl’s reaction will depend 70% not on what you write to her, but on your photos, how cool you look in them.
Secondly, you shouldn’t rely on any specific girl either . Because for so many reasons communication may not work out. For reasons beyond your control. She may be in a bad mood, her beloved hamster has died, and so on. Anything. And after an unsuccessful start, it will be very difficult to successfully continue communication.
Thirdly, when the value of a particular girl at the dating stage is high for you, you start doing ineffective things, and she disappears.
So here it is. After you have more or less put your VK page in order, you can write your first message.
Examples of good phrases for dating
Here are 3 original examples from life of starting a conversation on VK that can be used as a sample.
Example 1. A beautiful compliment is an original start to a conversation
- Hi, Olya! My name is Vadim. I accidentally came across your page and wanted to get to know you. The smile on the avatar is too charming 
- Well, hello, Vadim! Thanks for the compliment…
— Or maybe we can meet and continue communicating offline?
- Sorry, but I don’t go on dates with the first person I meet.
— You can go to my page – there’s quite a lot about me there. You won’t even know that much about a stranger on the street if they come up to you to introduce themselves. By the way, I also have a Rottweiler. Maybe we can meet and walk the dogs? How about tomorrow evening?
-Fine. Here is my number +79212345xxx
Example 2. A common passion is travel.
- Hello, Sveta! I was looking for news posts using the hashtag Baikal, and accidentally came across your page. I saw that we are both from the same city, and that you went there this summer. Would it take me a lot of time to ask a few questions about the trip? By the way, I forgot to introduce myself - my name is Grisha)
- Hello! Nice to meet you. Few people get to Lake Baikal from our city - it’s now closer and cheaper to fly abroad than to fly so far away. Ask whatever you want. I'll try to answer)
— Maybe we can meet somewhere for a cup of coffee? I think it will be more convenient this way. In general, I really like traveling around Russia. I can give you some more interesting routes)
— Why not?)) I’m busy today, but I can do it tomorrow after work. I finish at 8 at Amethyst's. Comfortable?
- Yes, it’s convenient. Leave your number please. In case I lose you there)
— +79213345xxx see you)
- Have a good day)
Example 3. How to meet a girl who likes music
- Hello, Katya! My name is Sasha. I saw the photos and videos you recently posted in the RHCP group and wanted to ask how it went? We didn’t manage to go to Moscow, but the day after tomorrow they will be in St. Petersburg. So I’m thinking – should I go or not?
- Good morning! Of course, go! Everything went well)
— Great) And I have another question: what do you think about meeting and communicating in person? I took a quick look at your page and realized that we have a lot in common. I think it will be interesting for us to talk) For example, we can meet tonight on Old Arbat and drink coffee.
— To be honest, I am skeptical about this kind of proposals...
- This does not oblige you to anything) Besides, we will be in a crowded place.
- Okay, we can try
- Let's meet at 8 pm. And write your phone number if we suddenly get lost)
— +79212345xxx. I am waiting for a call!
Want to find many more different examples of original and truly “catchy” messages to start a correspondence? Don't know how to find the right approach to a beautiful girl? Then we strongly recommend reading Yegor Sheremetyev’s new free book “Secrets of Successful Dating on VKontakte.” You will find our impressions from reading and the download link in the detailed review from the editors of ManLife24.
How to ask a girl out on a date?5
The sooner you transfer communication into reality, the better. Not every girl will agree to meet a guy she knows nothing about.
But there are many brave ladies who believe that messaging without dates is a waste of time on dating sites.
- You wrote that you love sunsets. Let's go watch it together?
- For a long time I was looking for a company for jogging in the morning/learning English/attending cooking classes. Let's go motivate each other to succeed.
- I mistakenly ordered two cheesecakes instead of one. If anything, I'm at the cafe "...". Even if you don't like me, the cheesecake won't disappoint you - they're really delicious here.
- I know where the coolest restaurant/cafe/bar is in our city. Do you want me to tell you?
- Our whole life is an attraction. I suggest you don’t resist this and go to the park to ride a roller coaster.
- How about taking a bike ride and admiring the city's sunset colors?
- I liked you. How about meeting on Friday at...? I love live communication.
- Today is World Pizza Day. I propose to celebrate this wonderful holiday in the restaurant “...”.
- Right now I would eat a plate of pasta, wash it all down with good wine, and then go to the cinema to watch some movie. How do you like the program?
- I've never gone bowling. I plan to fix this, are you with me? If you’re also far from this, let’s screw it up a little and let’s go eat pizza.
- The weather is so great today that you need to take advantage of it. See you in the park? I'll be in a beige coat and with a glass of coffee in my hands. Latte or espresso?
- On Friday I'm going to wine tasting. In my opinion, a great way to spend time usefully. How do you feel about red semi-sweet?
Where not to start a correspondence: the most common mistakes
The most common mistakes are the following:
- Banality The first message must be original. You can’t start a conversation with cliches or hackneyed phrases, for example: “Hello! How are you?". If you write something like that, in 9 cases out of 10 she will simply ignore the message;
- Sexual innuendo. Moreover, this includes not only messages like: “I would like to look at you up close!”, but also “compliments” to the girl’s figure, even if she herself put a profile photo of herself in a swimsuit;
- Use of slang expressions and swear words. It seems that this is understandable, but many first messages from men are still replete with various “what”. And if a girl decides to ignore you or immediately rejects you (even if in a rude manner), under no circumstances should you call her names. Even if you never cross paths again, save face and don’t stoop to something like this;
- There are grammatical errors. Check what you write. Pay special attention to commas. No one will find fault if there are minor punctuation errors in the message, but a complete lack of understanding of the grammar of the Russian language will definitely scare off an adult girl;
- Deception. Using a “fake” page or one without personal photos. Put yourself in the girl’s shoes: would you, in her place, meet a person who has no friends on his page, and whose profile photo shows a Hollywood actor or the latest model Lamborghini?
To report
Message method displays a message on the screen. The message is always associated with the form in which it was called. If you click “Record and close” in this form and display a message at the time of recording, the user will not see it, because the form will immediately close after recording.
The Report method can be used on both the client and the server. When called on the server, all messages are accumulated in a buffer and output when control returns to the client. The first parameter can be the message text.
| 1 | Notify("The name detail is not filled in!"); |
The girl replied to the message: what next?
So, you managed to interest the woman and she responded to your message. What to do next? The best solution is to go directly towards your goal.
If you want a close relationship, immediately invite her on a date and take her phone number. You need to take advantage of the moment while her attention is completely focused on you. The longer you wait, the more likely it is that she will refuse to meet in person.
Remember! Pointless messaging is a waste of precious time.
If a girl agrees to go on a date, you need to immediately set a place. Here is a selection of 8 of the most original places to go on a first date.
A great way to make a good impression on a date is to surprise the girl and surprise her. Here are some non-standard ways to do this.
If a girl doesn’t agree to a date, this is not a reason to give up. There is no need to delete her from your contacts and send her to the blacklist. You can continue to communicate with her. Don't forget, the more you communicate with girls, the better it will work out. In addition, if you interest her in correspondence, she will definitely give you a second chance. Here are a few useful tricks that you can use when texting.
In any case, if you want success with women, then you need to develop the qualities that women value most in men.
What compliments can you say to a girl when meeting her?
Everyone loves nice words. If you can’t come up with funny or cool expressions that are appropriate to write to a girl for the first time when meeting her, it’s better to give her a compliment. The main thing is not to flatter rudely and openly, and also to avoid platitudes.
Good examples:
- "Your style is impeccable."
- “You have driven many men crazy with your gaze.”
- “You have good musical (literary) taste.”
The best solution is to come up with a personalized compliment. It’s easier to do this if you look at the profile of the person you like. For example, your profile contains a photo of a girl skiing. You can write to her: “You look great in a ski suit, I hope to see you in it soon, not only in the photo.”
Brief conclusions
In short, for a successful first message, you need to briefly and succinctly describe the purpose of the appeal. Sometimes you can directly talk about the desire to get to know each other, but it is more effective to use some kind of excuse. Don’t forget to put the page in proper form, double-check your grammar, and get ready to deal with objections.
Don't put pressure on the girl, stay positive and remember that the purpose of your first message is to meet. Communication simply for the sake of communication in this case does not make sense. And if at first the young lady refused to meet with you, but continued the correspondence, then you should just wait. Give the girl a couple of days to get to know you better.
Correspondence options
It is best when all options for compliments and tackles are formed individually for each girl. But to get started, you can use the following examples:
- “Have you read the Constitution? It says there that depriving a person of the right to happiness is punishable by law.”
- “It was today that I realized why I needed to register on this site.”
- “Among the photographs I found pictures of Rome. Do you love him as much as I do?
- “I lost the bet and as payment I have to take the most beautiful woman on the site on a date.”
- “I don’t think I’ll be the first one trying to get to know you. But I'm better than the rest. Will you check?"
It is also worth remembering the options that it is better not to write to a girl when meeting her:
- “You look great. Would you like to meet?
- “Let’s get acquainted and meet.”
- "Hello. And you're beautiful. Let's get acquainted?".
- “If I interest you, write!”
There is a chance for further communication
You need to be prepared for the girl’s various objections and not give up. The main purpose of the first letter is a personal meeting, since in this situation communication for the sake of communication does not make any sense. When at first she doesn't agree to a date, but continues to correspond, you just need to give her time. In 2-3 days she will agree to meet. She just needs to get to know the guy better.
READ
How to start a conversation with a girl on VK and continue communication in real life
This definitely won't work
There are certain messages that you should not write to a girl, as they will push her away and kill her desire to start dating. Examples:
- "I'd like to see you up close."
- "Hello! How are you doing?".
- “Would you like to take a ride in the Hummer?”
- “You know, I liked you. True, I myself don’t understand why.”
- “You remind me of my ex-girlfriend. Only more beautiful!
- “I think that in terms of status we are not suitable for each other. But I’ll take the risk of meeting you..."
- “In sex, I prefer the 69 position from the Kama Sutra. What kind of person are you?”
- “Girl, can you tell me how best to spend 10 thousand dollars?”
- “I’m coming to you based on an advertisement. Are you giving out a phone number for free?”
- “Mademoiselle, does your mother need a son-in-law?”
- “You are terribly beautiful. I’m afraid to meet people.”
Original messages
To attract a girl's attention, you need to be original. Everyone will appreciate the non-standard approach and unusual sense of humor. Examples of successful messages for correspondence on dating services:
- “What are you doing this evening after our meeting?”
- “Do you think I like you more than you like yourself?”
- “Hi, please tell me how to cook dumplings correctly?”
- “Your nose is so joyful!”
- “You don’t know how to make birch jam?”
- "Hello! Today is such a good day. Do you mind if I cheer you up?"
- “Do you want to meet a cute guy? And here I am!”
- “Your eyes are so beautiful, what color are they?”
- “Let’s bet you can’t guess your name.”
- "Hello! I am a seller of happy moments. But I’ll give it to you for free!”
- “I look at the photo and understand that I simply have to meet you!”
- “I fell in love with the appearance so much that I forgot about the acquaintance. Hello!".
- “How did you realize that I was on the site?”
- “You know, before I met you, I was confident in my gay orientation!”
- “Do you remember how you dreamed about me?”
- "Can you help me? I want to learn how to communicate with women!”
- “Do you think I want to meet you? But no! I want to invite you on a date!”
It’s not difficult to meet a beautiful girl on social networks or on dating sites. The main thing is to adhere to the primary rules and not be afraid of pitfalls. Avoid platitudes, then it is quite possible that ordinary correspondence will turn into a long-term passionate relationship.
