Good afternoon everyone. In today’s article we’ll talk about friends and subscribers on the VKontakte social network. We will learn how to add and remove friends, how friends differ from subscribers, and we will also look at the management and settings in the section of the same name.
What is the difference between friends and subscribers? The differences lie in some of the options for viewing other accounts and actions on other users' pages. For example, subscribers can only follow your activities and news - all this will be displayed in their news feed. But if a person has some restrictions set in his privacy settings - for example, only friends can send him private messages, then subscribers will not be able to write to this person until they become his friend.
In order to become a friend of a specific user, you need to send him a friend request. From the moment you send the request until the moment it is added, you will be its subscriber.
How to add as a friend on VKontakte from a computer?
First, you need to find the required person (for this you can use the special search functions of VKontakte), after which you should go to his page and click on the “Add as a friend” button under the user’s avatar.
After this, the button should change its state to “Application submitted.” By clicking on it again, you can choose from two options in the drop-down menu: “Cancel Request” to revoke this friend request, or “New Message” to send an accompanying message along with your request.
Note!
Within one day, a user can send up to 40 outgoing applications with requests to add friends.
To review incoming applications, you should go to the “Friends” section in the left menu. If the user has pending incoming requests, they will appear on the New tab. Here you can click on one of two buttons:
- “Add as a friend” to confirm the application;
- “Keep as subscribers” to reject the application.
On the same page you can also view applications sent on your behalf to other people by clicking on the “Outbox” button.
Is it possible to write a message to a person if his profile is private?
Often, users not only close their VKontakte profile, but also cancel the ability to write to those who are not friends. That is, you will not only not be able to add such a person as a friend, but also write to him. In the “Who can write messages” settings, they often indicate: “Friends and friends of friends.” And this is really enough so that no one else can disturb the user through private messages. But now you can find out how to bypass this limitation and write a profile with these settings.
We already know the first method: you need to add a private profile as a friend and press the triangle next to the button. There will be a “New message” item, which you need to click on and create a message for the user.
There is another interesting way to contact a user who has closed his profile and messages to others.
To implement it, you need to find out the user identifier (ID), go to his page and copy it after the slash in the address bar. By default it looks like: /id1111111111. Or a word in Latin letters if the user has changed his identifier.
After this, in any group or on your wall, you need to write a message in the text and add the following construction to it: @id1111111111. That is, the identifier and the “At” sign in front of it without a space. Such text anywhere on the social network will create a notification for the user that his name has been mentioned. And he will be able to read your message. Notifications do not arrive to the mentioned user immediately, but over a period of time.
How to add as a friend on VKontakte in the application?
Users of the official application for mobile devices can also send their friend requests to other people. To do this, you must first go to the required person on the page and click on the “Add as a friend” button under his avatar.
After clicking the button, a new window will appear in which you can enter the text of the accompanying message that will be sent along with the application. To confirm and send the request, click on the “OK” button.
After submitting an application on a person’s page, you can again click on the “Application submitted” button, after which additional functions will appear that allow you to withdraw your application and unsubscribe from this page, as well as hide the news of this user.
To respond to an incoming request, you must first go to the “Friends” section in the application, and then select one of the options: “Add” the user, or “Hide” the request and keep the person as a subscriber.
Instructions on how to close your VK profile
We have already touched on the topic of privacy settings, so we will look at how you can close your VKontakte account from being viewed by other users so that they can submit friend requests and nothing more. The page will remain open only to those who are currently your friends on VK. They will still be able to see posts on your wall, comment on them, and like them.
Procedure:
- Go to your profile page and click on your avatar thumbnail in the top right;
- Select the "Settings" button;
- Select the “Privacy” line again;
- Scroll down the page with privacy settings and find the “Other” block;
- In it you need to click on the value in the “Profile Type” line and select “Private”.
The privacy settings in this block allow you to customize the visibility of your page on the Internet. If this item is set to “Everyone,” then anyone can find it from any search engine and country. If the posts on your page match his request. Or he will enter your first and last name in the search bar and try to find you.
If you are interested in keeping your personal data that you entered on the VKontakte page secret, it is recommended that you carefully read each paragraph. In the “Privacy” settings block, every item is important. Especially those related to mobile phone numbers and other users’ access to the page.
How to add as a friend on VKontakte in the mobile version?
On the website m.vk.com you can also perform similar actions. To send your application, you first need to go to the page of the selected user and click on the “Add as a friend” button under the status. Immediately after this, the outgoing application will be sent.
To respond to someone else’s request, you must first go to the “Friends” section on the site. If the user has new incoming unanswered requests, they will appear at the top of the page. To respond to an application, you can click on “Add” or “Reject”, after which the user who sent the application will remain a subscriber.
How to remove someone from Possible Friends
If a person is on the list with whom you do not want to be friends, you can easily remove him from there. To do this, you need to hover your cursor over the cross in the corner of the user’s avatar. The active “Do not show again” menu will also be displayed there.
This action can be undone. The convenience of such filtering is that people who are not interesting to you will no longer appear in the recommended list, and their place will be taken by those with whom you can meet and communicate.
Such additional services in social networks definitely indicate that the sites are designed primarily for communication. Today people meet, work, fall in love, and even live on the Internet. Therefore, such a simple search for new acquaintances is simply necessary for the society of the 21st century.
An application to restore access to this page was recently approved. What to do?
This means that the application has already been submitted and approved recently. We have already said that if you have restored access and received a new password, then you do not need to restore it again - neither on your phone nor on your computer. You just need to log in with the new password wherever you want.
But if you haven’t received a new password, you need to figure it out. Most likely, you submitted the application yourself (but did not realize that it was approved), and now you are trying to submit it again. Does not work. It is impossible to submit a new application so quickly. What to do? Several variants:
What exactly are “friends” on the Internet and why they need to be replaced with real friends
Scientists call this the “nude photo test,” and the gist of the test is this: suppose there is some photograph of you naked doing something that could embarrass you and your entire family for generations: e.g. bestiality. Ask yourself how many people you know would you trust with this photo? If you are like the rest of us, then you probably have at most two such people.
What’s even more depressing is that, according to research, almost one in four people don’t have anyone they can trust with this .
There aren't enough annoying strangers in our lives.
And this is not sarcasm. We develop a tolerance to irritation, like to alcohol or an unpleasant odor.
The more opportunities we have to “cut out” irritation from our lives, the less able we are to cope with it.
The problem is that technology has helped us build a cool, sprawling network designed just so we can avoid annoying people. Shop for Christmas gifts online and you won't have to face the fat lady pushing her shopping cart right at you at Target. Spend $5,000 on a home theater so you can watch movies on the big screen without any kids kicking your seat from behind. Or just rent a DVD from Netflix and you won't even have to spend those 30 seconds with the embarrassed guy working at the Blockbuster rental.
Stuck in line to see the doctor? We will never start a conversation with that smelly old man in the next seat. We'll stick an iPod in our ears and text a friend or play a game. Let's filter out all these irritating factors from our world.
Technology has helped us build a cool, sprawling network designed just so we can avoid annoying people.
It would be great if you could completely eliminate all this annoying crap from your life. But this is impossible. And it will never be possible.
As long as you have needs, you will sometimes have to deal with people you can't stand. We lose this ability that helped us cope with strangers and endure their annoying voices, awkward sense of humor, unpleasant smell and squeaky shoes. Therefore, those random contacts with the outside world - a world that you cannot control, make you want to scream and start punching everyone in the crotch.
And there are not enough annoying friends either
Many of us were born in cities filled with people we can't stand. When you were little, you might find yourself in an elementary school class filled with a couple dozen other kids you didn't choose and who didn't share your tastes and interests. Maybe you were beaten often.
But you have grown up. And if you, say, are a big fan of the DragonForce group, you can go to their forum and meet dozens of people just like you. Or even better - launch a closed communication room and stay in it only with a select few.
Say goodbye to the tedious, awkward and unpleasant process of communicating with someone who is completely different from you. It's another Old World inconvenience, like washing clothes in a stream or waiting for a raccoon to walk by your outdoor toilet so you can wipe your butt.
The problem is that peaceful communication with incompatible people is very important for living in society. In fact, if you think about it, peaceful interaction with people you can't stand is society. Just people with opposing tastes and conflicting personalities sharing living space and interacting with each other, often through gritted teeth.
Fifty years ago, you had to sit in a crowded room to watch a movie. There was no choice, you either watched or missed the show. When you bought a new car, everyone on the block came to look at it. You can bet there were assholes among them.
But, overall, people used to be more satisfied with their jobs, and more satisfied with their lives . Also, they had more friends.
And so it was. Despite the fact that they had virtually no way to filter their social circle (it often happened that your friend was someone who simply lived next door), they still had more close friends - people who they could trust than we have today.
Apparently, it turns out that after you cope with the first irritation and throw off your shell of superiority: “they listen to other music because they don’t understand mine,” then a certain satisfaction appears from the fact that you need other people, and they need you on a level that goes beyond shared interests.
It turns out that people are, after all, social animals. And it is the ability to suffer fools and bear irritation that is the quality that allows you to function in a world populated by other people who are not you. Otherwise you will turn into an emo. Science has proven this.
Text is a shitty way to communicate
I have one friend who uses the expression “No, thank you” in a sarcastic way. It means "I'd rather be shot in the face." He pronounces the last word with a slight ironic tinge, by which its true meaning becomes clear. You ask, “Do you want to go see the new movie with Rob Schneider?” And he answers: “No, thank you.” So, one day we exchanged the following text messages:
Me: “Do you want me to get the leftover chili I made?”
Him: “No, thank you”
This made me angry. I'm proud of my chili. It takes me several days to prepare it. I grind the dried pepper myself, and the special veal is not cheap. And he rejects my proposal with his stock phrase?
I didn't talk to him for six months. He sent me a letter, and without reading it, I sent it back with a dead rat sealed inside. As a result, my wife happened to meet him on the street and found out that his “No, thanks” meant exactly that: “No, but thanks for the offer.” Turns out he didn't have any room in the refrigerator.
40% of what you write in your letter will be misunderstood.
Do you need to do any research to know that 40% of what you write in your letter will be misunderstood? However, such a study has been conducted. How many friends do you have with whom you only communicate via the Internet? If 40% of your personality is lost in the text, can you say that these people actually know you? People who don't like you through text on forums, chats, etc. Is this because you are truly incompatible? Or because of this misunderstood 40%? What about those who like you?
Many try to compensate for this difference with pure numbers, collecting several dozen friends on MySpace. But there is another problem here...
Online friends make us even lonelier
When someone talks to you face to face, how much of what they want to say is in the words alone, to the exclusion of body language and intonation? Guess.
Seven percent. The remaining ninety-three percent are nonverbal, the researchers say. I don't know how they got such an accurate number, using a computer or something else. But we don't need to know that. Think for yourself, our humor is mainly sarcasm, and sarcasm is highlighting words with intonation that is inappropriate for their meaning. Like my friend's "No, thanks."
Here's the main problem. The human ability to absorb the moods of others through this subconscious osmosis is of great importance. Children born without this skill are considered mentally disabled. People who have a lot of this are called "charismatic" and become movie stars and politicians. It's not what they say, but the energy they give off that makes us feel good.
You don't expect a girl to tell you that she likes you. This is evidenced by the sparkle in her eyes, her posture, the way she grabs your head and shoves your face into her tits.
When we live in a world of text, all this disappears. And to this is added a strange side effect: without feeling the mood of the other person, we pass each line through our own mood. The reason I took my friend's message about chili as sarcasm was because I was in an irritable mood myself. In this state of mind, I myself wanted to be offended. Even worse, if I spend enough time communicating this way, my mood will never change. People say hurtful things to me! Of course I'm upset! The whole world is against me!
At this moment I need someone to shake me by the shoulders and bring me out of this state, and this leads us to number 5...
We don't get criticized much
The worst thing about not having close friends is not the missed birthdays or ping-pong alone with the wall, but the lack of real criticism.
In all my time on the Internet, I've been called a "faggot" ≈104,165 times. I keep a table in Excel. I was also called a “freak” and so on. (the following are several swear words, approx.).
And none of this mattered, because all these people did not know me well enough for their words to hit the target. I was often insulted and very rarely criticized. These concepts should not be confused. An insult is simply noise made by someone who hates you to indicate their hatred. Barking dog.
Criticism is when someone tries to help you by telling you something about you that you would rather not know.
It's unfortunate, but there are a whole bunch of people now who never have these conversations. All these interventions, the hard truths, the conversations like “you know, everyone is angry about what you said last night, but no one wants to say anything because they are afraid of you.” Those creepy, awkward, uncomfortable conversations that you can only have with someone who sees right through you.
Email and other text messages are very good at avoiding this level of honesty. You can answer whenever you are in the mood. You can weigh the words. You can choose which questions to answer. The person on the other end will not see your face, will not notice how nervous you are, will not understand when you are lying. You are in complete control, and as a result, the other person cannot see beyond your armor. And he will never see you at your worst, will not recognize those little things that confuse you that you cannot control. Gone are all the ridicule, humiliation and vulnerability on which true friendship is built.
Look through MySpace and see what they're up to. If you've created a group of friends through a blog, introducing yourself as the misunderstood and mysterious Lord of the Night, it will be quite difficult to talk to them about the time you went to a disco and got diarrhea on the dance floor. You won't be yourself, and that's a very lonely feeling.
And all this is crowned by the fact that...
We are all victims of a machine that disrupts public peace.
Many who read this far will say, “Of course I’m upset! People are dying of hunger. America has turned into Nazi Germany! My parents watch moronic television shows and then spend hours discussing them. All over the world people are dying in senseless wars!
But how did it happen that our worldview became more negative than the worldview of our parents? Or grandparents? Previously, people lived less and children died more often. There were more diseases. If your friend moved, the only way to communicate with him was pen and paper. We have Iraq, but our parents had Vietnam (in which 50 times as many people died), and their parents had World War II (in which 1000 times as many people died).
Some of your grandparents grew up in a time before air conditioning. And their parents all grew up without air conditioning. In a physical sense, we live better today in every possible way, but you wouldn’t know this if you read the news on the Internet. Why?
Evan McCaffrey / Shutterstock.com
Ask yourself: if a music website publishes an article entitled “Fall Out Boy is a great band,” then on the same day another article will appear entitled “Fall Out Boy is the funniest band of the last hundred years, experts say.” Which one do you think will get more traffic? The second will take the lead by a huge margin. Incidents of disturbing the peace give rise to rumors.
How many of you read news blogs? The people leading them know this too. All sites compete fiercely for traffic (even if they don't advertise, they still measure their success by the size of their audience), and so they carefully tread the wires in search of the most titillating story they can find. Other blogs are starting to echo the same story from the same perspective. If you want, you can swim all day without ever emerging from the warm, stagnant water of the “they're all evil bastards” pool.
Only in such a climate could those wacky 9/11 conspiracy theories (which claim that the towers were blown up by the Bush administration and the New York City Fire Department and that the planes were actually holograms) be born. If you listen to them, every opposing politician is Hitler, and every election is a fucking apocalypse. And all because it makes you want to read more.
There is no longer “mass information” as such, where, as before, we could disagree with each other because we saw the same news, but interpreted it differently, today we disagree because we see completely different news.
In the old days there was no such problem. Some people remember when there were only three channels on Television. Exactly - three. We're talking about the 80s. Therefore, there was something unified in the way we all sat down and watched the same news, presented from the same point of view. Even if it was a moronic and wrong point of view, even if some events were hidden with criminal intent, at least we all knew the same thing.
Everything is over. There is no longer “mass information” as such, where, as before, we could disagree with each other because we saw the same news, but interpreted it differently, today we disagree because we see completely different news. And when we cannot agree even on basic facts, the differences between us become incompatible. This constant feeling of one's own difference from the rest of the world generates tension, which only grows and grows.
We humans used to have many natural ways of releasing this fear. But today…
We feel worthless because we really are worthless.
Online friends have one advantage that no one ever talks about: They charge less.
Of course, you support them emotionally, calm them down after a disagreement, maybe even talk them out of committing suicide. But dating someone in a meatspace adds a whole bunch of annoying demands. You lose your entire afternoon helping to fix your computer. Go to the funeral with them. Give them a ride every day in your car after their car was repossessed by the bank for non-payment. They come to you unexpectedly, just as you're about to watch Dirty Jobs on the Discovery Channel, and start hinting that they're hungry until you give them half of your sandwich.
In a messaging program, on a forum, or in World of Warcraft, everything is much more controlled.
The problem is that evolution has hard-wired into you the need to do things for other people. It feels like everyone understood this for the last five hundred years, and then suddenly forgot within a few decades. Our teenagers are contemplating suicide, and we are trying to teach them self-respect. But, unfortunately, self-respect and the ability to love yourself appear only after you have done something for which you can be loved. You can't fool yourself. If I think that guy named Todd is useless because he sits in his room all day drinking Pabst and playing video games, what will I think of myself if I do the same?
Do you want to escape from this pit of self-hate? Get the black hair out of your eyes, step away from the computer, and buy someone you don't like a cool gift. Send a postcard to your worst enemy. Cook dinner for your parents. Or do something simple that has a tangible result. Go clean the leaves out of the drainpipe. Plant a damn plant.
Stokkete/Shutterstock
There is nothing supernatural about this, you are a social animal and therefore were born with little happy hormones that are released into your blood when you see the physical result of your actions. Think of all those teenagers in their dark rooms, glued to their computers, turning every problem in life into a stupid melodrama. Why do they cut their hands? Because inflicting pain—and the subsequent recovery—tangibly gives them endorphins that they can't get any other way. It hurts, but it's real.
This release of tension through mild discomfort was part of our daily lives, which we did through gazelle hunting, berry picking, rock climbing, and run-ins with bears. There is no more of this. This is why office work makes many people unhappy: we don't get a physical, tangible result from our work .
But try working as a builder in the hot sun for a couple of months, and for the rest of your life, when you drive past that house, you'll say, "Holy crap, I built that." This may be why mass shootings are more likely to occur in offices rather than construction sites.
It's the kind of physical, dirt-under-the-nails satisfaction that can only be achieved by turning off the computer, leaving the house, and reconnecting with the real world. Nothing the Internet can offer can replace that feeling of “I built this” or “I raised this” or “I fed this guy” or “I sewed these pants.”
Try working as a builder in the hot sun for a couple of months, and for the rest of your life, when you drive past this house, you will say: “Holy crap, I built this.”
This text was published on the website cracked.com, and the translation was found by Vache Davtyan. Thanks to Alexander Kolb for the tip.
